Wednesday 2 April 2014

Let's Get Uncomfortable.

I recently finished reading a book that made me increasingly uncomfortable with every page I turned. I highly recommend it. Seriously.

I've learned that part of this journey of stumbling toward maturity is learning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's not a natural response. We want the quick release Advil and the path of least resistance. I may conquer my desire for quick fixes and instant solutions for my discomfort. 

The problem with that is that God, with His unyielding desire to make me more like Jesus, is not into band-aids and medicating wounds. He's in it for the long haul. He's into healing. The real kind. The kind of healing that leads you to wholeness.

"Unfortunately for most of us, nobody was there when we received our first wound. So we just carried it around with us, determined not to let it happen again. By adolescence, we all had wounded hearts.  Between the little jabs from friends, our parents, our teachers, our coaches, and our adversaries at school, there was no way to avoid it." 
(Andy Stanley, Enemies of the Heart) 

Enter the book, "Enemies of the Heart." Mr. Stanley kindly addresses the ugly yet often well-hidden realities that lie in the closet of our wounded hearts. Closet not the backyard clothesline. We can forget they are even there until we get poked or knocked over causing what's deep down to start spilling out everywhere. He explores four destructive emotions that we tend to harbor that have the power to infiltrate our lives and wreak havoc on our closest relationships. Guilt, anger, greed and jealousy. My initial thoughts were (as maybe yours are too) maybe a couple of those apply to me. I didn't realize I was in for a real honest treat, a quadruple dose of one to be exact. 

As I continued reading, God kept right on stirring my heart with his giant wooden spoon. This wasn't an overly pleasant experience. A lot of stuff was kicked up, most of which I didn't realize was there in the first place. There were a few weeks where my mind felt like it was overwhelmed on overdrive as I processed all the things I was realizing were in my heart; how they got there and how they'd already affected relationships. There was the night I was a complete emotional wreckage. Thank goodness for friends who listen to you even when you can't formulate a sentence. Stir, stir, stir. Not fun.

You might be thinking, and I'm supposed to want the same? There's good news too.

God was doing something. He was stirring up the guilt, anger, greed and jealousy because He wanted continue the process of ridding me of them. Without realizing it, those emotions were occupying space. Which meant they were taking up the space of something else that could be there instead. Peace. Forgiveness. Freedom. Contentedness. Love. Joy. Gratitude.

One more thing to be aware of: We can be stirred, but never changed. The fine print: Being stirred doesn't guarantee being changed. God can take a book like this and stir up things in your life, not because He delights in making you uncomfortable, but because He delights in putting broken pieces back together. He delights in restoring relationships. He delights in seeing you realize the million dollar debt He's forgiven you of which enables you to turn around forgive the five dollar debt owed to you. He delights in seeing you become more like Him. He delights in continuing the completing work He began.

It's probably not fun for the coal to be under the intense pressure, but it is necessary if it's to become a diamond. Likewise, gold probably doesn't enjoy the heat of the refining fire, but that it what is needed to clear away all the impurities. There's pain in the process, but it's about the end result.

You can read this book (or any other book for that matter) but get too uncomfortable with the stirring (also known as refining) process, that you decide change is too hard. It's not the book that will change you (though it may help!). It's the posture of surrender towards a loving God that says, no matter how uncomfortable this gets, I'm going to let you have your way with me.

So, let's get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Ask Him to stir you, because that's often when God does some of His finest work.

And if you want some practice, read "Enemies of the Heart."







Sunday 26 January 2014

Learning to Walk: Be a Barney

I posted many months ago about what God was teaching me about Learning to Walk in my journey with Him. As promised, the series is indefinite and completely spontaneous, but here's a little bit of something resembling a part 2. My ideal self would have this organized like a chapter book but my real self is gluing together an abstract collage, in no particular order. 

I was listening to a devotional on a rare solo and quiet drive the other day. The verse and insights the author shared stirred my heart. The Lord spoke these to Joshua as he was about to lead the Israelites to the promised land in Joshua 1:9 and He was also speaking to me about learning to walk, or better yet, what I'm to do while walking. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The author pointed out that fear and discouragement are two of the biggest challenges we face in our spiritual journey. To discourage is to cause someone to lose confidence, hope, spirit, enthusiasm whereas to encourage someone, is to inspire confidence, hope, spirit and enthusiasm. 

Imagine you're learning to run. It's awkward looking because you've never done it before. Someone comes alongside you and says, you're doing it wrong. That's not how you're supposed to run. Why would you run like that? Look at all the people around you. Run like them. I don't understand why this is so difficult. 

To say you would feel discouraged would be generous. I'd go with deflated. 

But imagine, you're learning to run. It's awkward looking because you've never done it before. Someone comes up beside you and asks how're you doing. They say, I started out just like you. Along the way, I've learned to focus on lifting up my feet instead of pounding on my steps. It decreases the impact on my lower joints. If I keep my arms slightly bent at a ninety degree angle and don't cross the mid-line of my body, I save energy. When I bend slightly forward at the waist, I can use gravity to my favor. They slap you on the back and press on.   

God pointed out that He has called me to be an encourager, an infuser of courage, not a highlighter of error. On any journey, whether marriage, relationships, motherhood, walking with the Lord, we all need encouragement. We want if there's a better way and how to get there without feeling like a complete failure. That person learning to walk, they need to be infused with courage. They need to be assured of His love, reminded of His presence and that He is the great I Am.     

My little Boo is now learning to talk. Tonight I heard a mini kerfuffle before she ran into the room and said with wide eyes, "I made messy mummy!" Lately we've been working on cleaning up. She knows what to do. She wasn't coming to me so that I could tell her she'd made a mess and she shouldn't have. She knew what needed to be done but needed a bit of encouragement and wanted me with her. When we re-entered her room she, looked at me and said, "Meen-up?" Yes, I said. We are going to clean it up.


So today, as you walk, be a Barney (Barnabas means "one who encourages"). I'd be willing to bet you won't need to look far to find someone who needs to be in-couraged. 

Lord, work your grace deep into our hearts so that encouragement overflows. When people leave our presence, may they feel confident in your love for them and  your presence in their circumstance, hopeful about your work in their lives, and enthusiastic about the spiritual adventure that lay ahead.